Blossoming

What a gorgeous week it has been. Amazingly, Missoula and Lolo reached the mid-80s yesterday and the day before, bringing the rivers up considerably, the birds out in masses, the leaves out of their buds, and a whole lot of happy people out of the wood works! I have really been counting my blessings lately--we live in such an amazing place, and on these gorgeous spring days I am reminded of how easy it is to take that for granted. Within two days I saw a great blue heron, many osprey, a red tailed hawk, a northern harrier, magpies, mourning doves, meadow larks, robins, chickadees, common mergansers, wood ducks, Canada geese, mallards, house finches, red winged blackbirds, and ravens (I'm sure I'm missing a whole lot, too). Not to mention some of my favorite early spring flowers are bright and blooming: yellow bells, arrow-leaf balsam root, shooting stars, mountain buttercup, and serviceberry. The cottonwoods are opening and releasing their intoxicating scent and the ponderosa pines have the warm, soft aroma of vanilla emanating from them. The Bitterroot is swollen and muddy--powerful in a way that is humbling. I am humbled in so many ways right now--by the spring's overwhelmingly beautiful presence, and of course by the growing life within me who is becoming more and more an obvious presence in my life every day.

Two Canada geese and some very big painted turtles taking a rest on a log in Lolo Pond.

A male wood duck stands just in front of his female mate.

Two male wood ducks.

Catkins on a quaking aspen.

Common mergansers resting on a log across the mighty Bitterroot.

Sappy and fragrant black cottonwood leaves.

As I mentioned in a previous post, the experiences I am having with pregnancy feel so natural to be having in the spring. I feel as if my body and mind are opening and blooming from a tight bud to the expansive place within me where the whole Universe resides, connecting me to everything in nature. The fecundity of spring is almost palpable, and I am recognizing now that I am a natural part of the whole process. Pregnancy has become truly transformative as I've decided to tap into this experience. I can now see and feel the baby rolling across my belly, which has helped me connect to the baby in a more tangible way. And emotionally/spiritually, I am connecting to my Self in a way I never have before. I feel great; strong, connected, and joyful. Most of all, I feel grateful for the way that our little girl has given me so much perspective and a much wider view of the world. It's not easy a lot of the time, but it's truly miraculous. Spring and pregnancy and these experiences I have been having remind me of a beautiful Anais Nin quote: "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." So I dive right into the current of Grace that is spring, that is pregnancy!

At the same time that I have been in wonder of the whole process and feeling more and more engaged in it every day, I have also been incredibly challenged at times! My body image has been turned upside down, but ultimately in a way that I know will be so positive for me, and for our little girl, for the rest of our lives. And of course, I worry a lot. Way too much sometimes. But as my pregnancy progresses, I am learning so much about having faith in my body and mind and heart and my ability to create life, and yoga has so much to do with that growth. Stephanie Snyder is a yoga instructor on Yogaglo that I love, especially her prenatal classes, and in a class I took last night she brought up the yoga sutra 2.46 "sthira sukham asanam," one of my favorite sutras, which translates to a "steady, easy seat." This resonated with me in a way that has really connected this whole process of pregnancy and birth to the practice of yoga and meditation, and the natural and healthy balance of steady and easy, strong and soft. I somehow knew as soon as I was reminded of this sutra that this will be what keeps me in a good and health place through the remainder of my pregnancy and labor. I am so grateful for this practice that has guided me through so much of my life, and especially now as it guides me through the most transformative part of my life so far--bringing another life into this world.

Namaste and thanks for reading!